A Content-Addicted Culture

We live in an exceedingly rich information culture. Indeed, the amount of information exceeds the capacity of our individual brains to process it by orders of magnitude. Not only is factual-based scientific information being collected at prodigious rates, but the amount of non-factual disinformation created by our culture matches its rate. Reality-based information and its imaginary counterpart are apparently not sufficient content providers, for we are now considering developing a metaverse—a universe of infinite made-up possibilities. While human imagination is a source of all these creative outbursts, problems occur when there are no boundaries to its unconstrained nature, no checks on counterfactual thinking, no testing to see whether ideas are true. When we think up stuff and assume it is real, it creates the singular psychological basis for human suffering. Humans have known this insight for thousands of years and yet we march on, like a devastating tsunami obliterating everything on its path or like lemmings on our way to our own destruction.

The driving energy behind this is a mind that lives in scarcity, that is constantly dissatisfied, always searching for more to fill a bottomless emptiness. It is this unfulfilled emptiness that makes us addicted to information, to the content of what our mind can experience. For, while we attend to this content, it prevents us from looking at the core of this emptiness. Such a possibility seems too frightening to consider and so we develop more and more content to distract us. The American social scientist Herbert Simon wrote: “The wealth of information means a dearth of something else—a scarcity of whatever information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients.”

Human attention comes in short supply, and when the information it consumes overwhelms it, there is nothing left to attend to our unfulfilled nature. The only antidote to this devastating tsunami of human experience is to become quieter and more intentional. A time of silence occurs when we stop furiously examining the content of our conscious mind. What we discover when we turn from noise to silence is that what we feared, the emptiness we felt, is not really the bogey man we envisioned, but a unique source of nourishment unlike anything ever experienced. We briefly touch what Christ called “the living water” or others refer to as the “I AM.” Silence is one of the few remaining ways we express a widespread, shared experience of sacredness.

The more we drink from this silent emptiness, this living water, the less dissatisfied we become, the less we are interested in the content of our consciousness. Instead, we become more interested in that which contains it all: consciousness itself. We lose our addiction to information, and at the very end of such a process, we identify with the silence itself, which, in fact, contains everything.

I Am Here

“I don’t know” is a phrase that has become more and more common and relevant as I try to burrow down into the nature of my psyche, trying to plumb the depths of my being.  Like most individuals, I questioned my identity during my early development: Who am I, if not my opinions? Where did this existence, which appears more substantial, come from? What is the authentic me? I don’t understand why such questioning became so important to me. But my natural predisposition to know led me to a career in science. Specifically, to the study of the brain and mind, which augmented the questions I had. For the last twenty years it has been my continuing effort to understand who I am, really.

Following retirement 18 months ago from an academic position, I wanted to test the notion that my life could be turned over to that greater presence I felt all around. What that meant for me was reducing conceptual thinking, the intellectual millstone of an academic. It meant relaxing into my physical being, as opposed to living in my head. It meant, most of all, letting go of the small and large expectations of what life ought to be. It meant trusting and accepting that my life was less under my control than I realized.

I imagined a process of letting go of my expectations, my wants and ego-based thoughts. And a type of merging with a greater unity-to the point of losing the sense of me. Unfortunately, letting go has been difficult and incomplete. My mind, either unwilling or unable to, creates and recreates me, as if it cannot do otherwise. The thought-generator aspect of my mind can only be still and absolutely quiet for but a few seconds at a time. Nonetheless, it is that stillness experience that keeps me going. For in those moments, I sense something, a presence, a different life, an intelligence. It’s a presence that neither beckons nor rejects. It simply says, “I am here.” But to make the jump into that unknown seems to require letting go of the life I have known. It’s a challenging thing to do.

I have made strides in that direction. But everywhere I look for answers to this more real nature, whether it is the sycamore tree outside the living room window in its fullness of spring, the myriad objects in the condo that I share with my wife, or the feelings that bubble up on the meaning of my life, I am confronted by the one response. “I don’t know”. It is a wall of silence and darkness that seems impenetrable. Despite the persistence of this darkness, I have become more and more comfortable with this not-knowingness. There has been a settling of my anticipation, eagerness, future-oriented desires. I feel a different calmness.

While this has been happening, I have noticed a reduction in the distance between the sensorial phenomena reaching my brain and who I feel I am. Whereas sensory experience was distinct, separate, and somewhat superficial before, it has gained a sense of solidity, of closeness, of vibrancy, of relevancy that it did not have before. The imaginary presence I spoke about earlier is steadily transforming into the sensory experience of this moment. This experience is what now whispers, “I am here.”