The Thanksgiving Gift

Live in the here and now.
For in that space God lives,
And life is real and flows as it is meant to do.
No problems, no questions, no answers.
Just life being a dancer
Beautifully moving and interbeing.
Creative and all-seeing,
In-and-of-itself.

It was Saturday, November 28, 2020 and “another beautiful day in paradise,” as my wife and I often describe San Diego weather. Only a couple of days before, we had celebrated Thanksgiving Day, while still isolating because of the COVID-19 pandemic. I had cooked the usual brined turkey, and we had feasted on the leftovers for two days. Now I wanted to take a long walk to help me lose the pounds I had gained during the celebration. As I stepped out the door of our condo at 8 am, the icy wind hit me and I knew I needed a sweater. I drove the few miles to Torrey Pines beach to walk up the “mountain,” to the preserve trails, and there commune with nature.

Halfway up the hill to the top of the Torrey Pines preserve, the idea struck me that I could do a longer trek. UCSD, the university campus where I had worked for 28 years until my retirement in 2018, was a six-mile walk. As I crested the hill of the preserve, I felt I was up to the long walk. The air was crisp, but the walk had warmed my body and so I took the sweater off, knowing it would only get warmer. A bright sun illuminated the morning. Clear blue skies framed the Pacific Ocean to my right, shimmering a dark blue-green shade. I had anticipated that the noise of those walking the trail and of the cars off in the distance would fade as I reached the plateau of the preserve. I wanted to listen to the sound of silence. But it was not to be. Too many cars and a few more folks than I had expected were walking the trails this morning. Silence didn’t have a chance. The siren song of the university called me. I continued past the Torrey Pines Golf Course, Scripps Clinic, the Hilton hotel, and a variety of other places before reaching the campus.

I had not visited the university in over a year. From the road, I had seen new structures slowly but inexorably grow in the space that had been a parking lot during my time there. A group of new buildings now overlooked the familiar grounds. As I approached the campus, my body signaled it needed a brief rest. I found a bench on Torrey Pines Road that served as a bus stop and collapsed into the hard metal seat. The walk had been refreshing as the light and translucent leaves and grass along the way called my attention to the beauty of nature. I felt tired but grateful and enjoying the moment.

As I looked down from the bench, I spied two pennies on the ground. I picked them up and felt there had to be one additional penny somewhere to complete the trilogy. I scanned the ground but could not see any, so after a period of rest, I continued my walk into campus. On my return, 15 minutes later, I stopped by the same bench and the same strong feeling of a third penny flooded my brain. This time I looked down and saw it, near where I had found the other two. Strange, I thought, that I hadn’t seen it previously. I have come across money before on the street, from coins to dollar bills, and don’t remember ever being concerned about the year it was made. This time, the thought occurred naturally, spontaneously, and insistently. I looked and noticed the years: 1995, 2009, and 2012. The dates vaguely reminded me of something.

As I continued my return home, it surprised me to realize that in 1995 I had received tenure from the university; In 2009, I had edited my first and only academic book on Mirror Neurons; and in 2012, I received promotion to Full Professor. If anyone had asked me what the three most significant experiences in my career at UCSD were, I would have said it was those three things. The more I considered it, I realized that other events, such as publication of one of my most widely read papers in 2005, would only be fourth on the list. How intriguing, I thought? Am I creating a story around these dates or is there a deeper significance in my finding these coins with these specific dates?

I have a creative mind and may have “conjured” significant events for whatever years might have appeared. Yet, the moment felt special. The feeling was that in some unexpected and special way, I was communing with something greater than myself. The message these three pennies seemed to be delivering was, “I know you well.” A wave of gratefulness overwhelmed and pervaded my senses. The walk home was quiet and humbling the more I contemplated what had transpired.

Gratefulness

I am grateful for:
The beginning of life,
The first human,
Man's cleverness and inventiveness,
Medicine and its cures,
Poetry, art and its insights,
Humor and emotion.
 
I am grateful for:
Plants and the flowers they produce,
Rain that nourishes them,
Flowing water,
Butterflies, bees, and birds,
Food and its sources,
Blue sky and white clouds,
Mountains and mountain tops,
The silhouette of trees against the sky.
 
I am grateful for:
Sounds,
Ocean and surf,
Flying pelicans in formation,
Rivers and streams,
Fish and fowl.
Air we breathe.
Cold, warm, and hot weather,
The rainbow and color palette,
Pine trees and rocks.
Roaring waves,
Beaches, sand and sun.
 
I am grateful for:
Life guards, seagulls, tracks in the sand,
Quietness, music, mirth,
Running, seeing, feeling, talking, thinking,
Bodies that sustain,
Pain that warns and instructs,
Tiredness and sleep.
 
I am grateful for:
Parents who conceived and cared,
Family and ties that bind,
Infants and their smiles,
Couples in love,
A kiss from a spouse and their "I love you."
 
I am grateful for:
Laughter and joyful conversations,
Women and men and shapely bodies,
Baths and perfumes.
Friendliness from strangers,
Walking on the beach,
Athletes and their determination.
 
I am grateful for:
Technology that assists us,
The scientific method,
Leonardo , Einstein, and all who practiced it.
Religion, mysticism and all those who practiced them,
Society, schools, relationships, and their historical precedents.
 
I am grateful for:
God and this moment,
Infinite wisdom and love,
The universe and myriad forms,
Wonder and curiosity,
The Mystery of not-knowing,
My true nature.
Space, which contains all,
Time, which organizes it.
 
I am grateful for all that I am,
All that is, and
All that can be.

Faith, Reason, and A Contemporary Synthesis

Human thought at the beginning of history likely resembled a cauldron of ideas with little foundational grounding. These ideas were susceptible to change and control by external, unknown, and mysterious forces. In what we now call the Age of Faith (A.D. 325-1300), magical thinking, supernatural ideas, and religious beliefs found fertile soil in this intellectual turmoil.

Then, in what is considered the long 18th century (1685-1815) thinking became radically reoriented by a new-found skepticism and questioning of traditional authority. It led to an embrace of the notion that humanity could be improved through rational change. This Enlightenment Era, known as the Age of Reason, was specific and somewhat definite in its self-understanding of what it meant to be “rational” and “modern.”   For one, the term modern conveyed an understanding of “liberal” or “progressive” and linked with “reason” and “rationality.” 

Enlightenment writers and thinkers had backgrounds in the sciences, and related scientific advancement to the overthrow of religion and traditional authority in favor of free speech and thought. Yet, a great philosopher of those times — Friedrich Nietzsche — suggested that intellectual prowess and true “rationality” involved a sense and quality of rhythm, deliberateness, restraint, balance, and proportionality. Rationality, he argued, is not a mere quantity or calculation, it is more like dance or music. He rejected the notion that there is any such thing as a ‘rational truth’ or a ‘universal morality.’  It was Nietzsche’s clarion call for a new and much-needed synthesis.

In the early 1900s a third radical change occurred in conceptual thinking that we now associate with postmodern thought.  The 20th century exploded with novel ideas about concepts such as quantum mechanics, cubism, modern music, and Freudian psychology. These novel ideas challenged the accepted notions of space, time, motion, nature and natural law, history and social change, and the basis of human personality. By the middle of the 20th century, science had demolished the bedrock ideas that it itself had established. For one, science had initially set matter as the fundamental substrate in nature, as well as the idea that all elements, including consciousness, result from material interactions.  But the same objective analysis investigating such realities questioned and shattered this foundation of materialism and of our basic identities.

In this postmodern world, scientists and intellectuals saw the negation of many Enlightenment or progressive virtues and values. The result was that many intellectuals imagined the main alternative to materialism as an absence or emptiness, or great void containing nothing. This absence or groundlessness conflicted with the existential longing for definition and individuation.

Before long, these attacks on foundational ideas of being produced individuals that Alan Watts described as “adrift without landmarks in a universe which more and more resembled the Buddhist principle of the ‘Great Void.’”  Furthermore, faced with such a possibility, the greatest wisdom of the West, its religious, philosophical, and scientific traditions, Watts argued, did not offer much guidance to the art of living in such a reality. To be nothing, immaterial, stand on nothing, and have no guidance on how to move forward can be psychologically disconcerting, paralyzing, and frightening. This is the postmodern sensibility.

At the beginning of the 21st century, we seem to be standing at another junction in which both faith and reason are being challenged. Although many attempts at synthesis have been put forth throughout history, including St. Thomas Aquinas Summa Theologica and the recent Ludato Si of Pope Francis I, these arguments assume a synthesis that maintains the independence between faith and reason. This does not seem far-reaching enough.

From a perspective of unity, the nature of postmodern emptiness, absence, groundlessness, or void, or the battle between faith and reason, is much more sensible and positive. Emptiness in this viewpoint is not the absence of things, but a condition in which actions flow unimpeded and unobstructed by other actions. In such a universe, matter performs its own unencumbered role. This way, emptiness serves as foundational for matter to express itself in a natural and perfect way. If no emptiness condition existed, it might not be possible for the material world to exist and function. To understand and live within THIS perspective is to overcome the postmodern sensibility. It is to live a productive life in which one feels at home in groundless emptiness. And in which one feels no terror but a positive delight. This is the potential of the contemporary synthesis, of what Nietzsche’s called “true rationality.”

This is a very condensed essay about large themes. I welcome your thoughts.